“Put it out there & see what happens”
Just a little saying I heard from a respected man that really sank down in…
I think to myself, when have I really, truly “put it out there”?
Probably never…but why? Why can’t I seem to put it on the line?
Bottled up inside me is a feeling that won’t go away…Bottled up inside me is a deep pain that I won’t release.
I hold on to the things that I don’t like or what & throw aside the things that I truly care about.
It seems as if that is my human nature, but I don’t even understand the reasoning behind all this.
I hate the way I treat myself & the way I treat others. It’s not that I’m so worried about me that I can’t give,
It’s just that I won’t let myself or force myself to really put out the effort it takes to be real with myself.
I could easily just blame someone else for my inability to express my emotions or feelings, but I refuse to let that happen anymore.
I could easily brush off the things I have done & say “I’ll just start a new, fresh life”, but none of that will work.
Only one answer comes to mind when I ask myself, “Who can help me be better?”
I realize the need for assistance & I’m not to stubborn to get help, it’s just I feel so far away from deserving help.
Being stubborn is something that I struggle with, but in this case I’m searching for help to break me away from this life I lead.
“Put it out there & see what happens”
That is what I am left with at the end of the day.
How many times have I even tried to do that?
I’m going to give it a shot. I am left only with that option & what can it hurt.
I’m going to see what happens… | 
